As a mom, I often just want to hear “wow, you’re a great mom” or “it’s okay you haven’t lost all the weight yet – I haven’t either.” All too often, we receive looks of judgment and ridicule instead. I want to take today to tell you that you are doing way better than you think you are.
Just the fact that you are reading this shows me that you aren’t one to just settle for what life gives you, and that you want to make the most of our precious time in this crazy world, right?
I want to share a slightly embarrassing story with you (okay, really embarrassing…) My husband, Bryan, and I decided to go to town and get groceries and some new clothes for me. I wasn’t quite able to fit into my pre-pregnancy and pre-cancer clothes, but my maternity clothes were too big. So, we’re at Kohls and all is going great until it wasn’t… Grant started getting fussy and my husband’s stomach started bothering him.
It was fine, I was keeping my cool, but then I noticed all these people walking by just staring at me. I was holding Grant to calm him down, trying to push a cart one-handed, and hold my diaper bag. I could use a hand, not a stare! I felt judged and ridiculed…I kept thinking,
“Do they think I’m a bad mom? Is my hair going crazy? Did I forget to do my bra up after nursing?”
I was feeling absolutely humiliated and I didn’t even know why! Bryan found us and he gave me the same look everybody else did and I just snapped! I said “What the hell is it?!”
…And then he told me “your underwear is showing.”
I checked the back of my pants and they definitely were not! He then says, “in front.”
I looked down and sure enough, my underwear was above the small roll of flab and lose skin left over from giving birth, but my pants had slipped underneath it. Wonderful. I wanted to throw everything down (except Grant of course) and run out of there. I wanted to run away and just cry.
If you’ve been there, I want to tell you….
It’s totally okay and you are doing a damn good job!
We don’t say that enough to each other or to ourselves. In a world where judgments and unsolicited advice are given ALL the time, what if instead we offered a kind word or even a hug?
It’s okay to take the pressure off yourself and stop trying to be super mom because super mom doesn’t exist. It’s okay to admit to being human.
Especially around this time of year, comparison runs rampant. “Their house looks awesome, mines a mess. They have their lights up and I haven’t even bought any. She had a baby at the same time and she is already wearing cute dresses… I can’t even fit into my old clothes!” Whatever it may be, stop torturing yourself!
You are doing so much better than you think you are! Every time you start to feel discouraged, remember that!
You are doing better than you think you are!