Do you have ‘prickly’ people in your life? You know the people I mean… The ones you can’t seem to do anything right, no matter how hard you try? They either take it the wrong way, misunderstand, or just ignore you.
Often we try so hard to be a part of their life, yet they just seem to be touchy in return. We want to be optimistic, a positive influence, or just simply their friend. But no matter what we do they don’t want to be a part of our life (and don’t want us to be a part of theirs).
Whether it be family, friends, or coworkers, we often feel nervous around these people. Even if we’re trying to be super-nice, give them a gift, or do them a favor, they seem to take it personally. I have people like this in my life and I know I’m not the only one! So today, I have 3 tips to help you deal with these types of prickly people…
Step #1 – Realize It’s Not You
Look, you need to realize that it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. You haven’t done anything wrong (unless you have – in which case admit it, apologize, and move on). A lot of women seem to hold grudges, but you guys, that’s just petty. We’re past high school ok?! But if they’re holding grudges then realize that it’s THEIR problem, not yours. I’ll say it again…
It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
In this situation just try to be yourself – be real and be honest. I know that when I’m around those people, I tend to get really nervous and then say stupid things! And because I’m trying so hard not to make a mistake or say something that’s going to upset them, I can’t act naturally. I’m walking on egg shells which then leads to me making stupid comments that I wouldn’t normally say. Being on edge around these people is just not healthy and it’s definitely not helping the relationship.
So, realize that it has nothing to do with you. Let it go, accept that you can’t control them, and you cannot make them happy (and it’s not your responsibility to do so!)
Step #2 – Forgive Them
The second step is to forgive them and realize that it’s THEIR insecurity. Many of us blame ourselves and think…
- What did I do wrong?
- What did I do to make them mad?
- What did I do to upset them?
But what you need to understand is that you did nothing – it’s their own insecurity that’s causing them to be defensive. It’s their insecurity that’s stopping them from appreciating the effort you’re making, whether it’s to be friends or just be a part of their life.
Instead of judging them, I like to look at it like this: I really pray that those insecurities leave them, and that they can really live life. Because think about how low their quality of life must be! If they’re feeling that insecure all the time and taking things personally, well that would just really suck, ya know? How much must they be missing out on life, relationships, and friends because they’re so insecure?
So instead of judging them, forgive them. Realize that it’s their insecurity and say some prayers for them.
Step #3 – Focus On Kindness
The third step is to focus on being kind. Concentrate on being the best YOU that you can be. Focus on reaching out with kindness and sincerity. Offer to do things for them, and if your heart is in the right place then eventually they’ll realize that you’re not out to get them.
Encourage them but don’t take it personally if they get defensive. You’ve done your part and that’s all you can do. You can encourage them and be there for them, but also put up a barrier so you don’t let their prickliness get to you. Just be the real you – honest and authentic.
Realize that you’re doing your part, and if they’re not doing theirs, then that’s on them! Just be the best you, and let the rest fall where it may.